{"id":3059,"date":"2013-05-22T14:10:50","date_gmt":"2013-05-22T19:10:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/?p=3059"},"modified":"2023-05-12T12:07:20","modified_gmt":"2023-05-12T17:07:20","slug":"building-relationships-through-listening","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/building-relationships-through-listening\/","title":{"rendered":"Building Better Relationships Through Listening"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"bsf_rt_marker\"><\/div>\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"3059\" class=\"elementor elementor-3059\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-479c34e elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"479c34e\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-ac7316c\" data-id=\"ac7316c\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2aedb58 elementor-widget elementor-widget-template\" data-id=\"2aedb58\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"template.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-template\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"section\" data-elementor-id=\"12411\" class=\"elementor elementor-12411\" data-elementor-post-type=\"elementor_library\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-1255d61 elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-content-middle elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"1255d61\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-66 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-6264de3\" data-id=\"6264de3\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-61125fc elementor-widget elementor-widget-theme-post-title elementor-page-title elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"61125fc\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"theme-post-title.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h1 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Building Better Relationships Through Listening<\/h1>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2c1117e elementor-align-center elementor-widget elementor-widget-post-info\" data-id=\"2c1117e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"post-info.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<ul class=\"elementor-inline-items elementor-icon-list-items elementor-post-info\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<li class=\"elementor-icon-list-item elementor-repeater-item-fcfa45b elementor-inline-item\" itemprop=\"author\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/author\/lbwebmaster\/\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<svg aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"e-font-icon-svg e-far-user-circle\" viewBox=\"0 0 496 512\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><path d=\"M248 104c-53 0-96 43-96 96s43 96 96 96 96-43 96-96-43-96-96-96zm0 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href=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/2013\/05\/22\/\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<svg aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"e-font-icon-svg e-fas-calendar\" viewBox=\"0 0 448 512\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><path d=\"M12 192h424c6.6 0 12 5.4 12 12v260c0 26.5-21.5 48-48 48H48c-26.5 0-48-21.5-48-48V204c0-6.6 5.4-12 12-12zm436-44v-36c0-26.5-21.5-48-48-48h-48V12c0-6.6-5.4-12-12-12h-40c-6.6 0-12 5.4-12 12v52H160V12c0-6.6-5.4-12-12-12h-40c-6.6 0-12 5.4-12 12v52H48C21.5 64 0 85.5 0 112v36c0 6.6 5.4 12 12 12h424c6.6 0 12-5.4 12-12z\"><\/path><\/svg>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-text elementor-post-info__item elementor-post-info__item--type-date\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<time>May 22, 2013<\/time>\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<li class=\"elementor-icon-list-item elementor-repeater-item-9c8288a elementor-inline-item\" itemprop=\"commentCount\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/building-relationships-through-listening\/#respond\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<svg aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"e-font-icon-svg e-far-comment-dots\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><path d=\"M144 208c-17.7 0-32 14.3-32 32s14.3 32 32 32 32-14.3 32-32-14.3-32-32-32zm112 0c-17.7 0-32 14.3-32 32s14.3 32 32 32 32-14.3 32-32-14.3-32-32-32zm112 0c-17.7 0-32 14.3-32 32s14.3 32 32 32 32-14.3 32-32-14.3-32-32-32zM256 32C114.6 32 0 125.1 0 240c0 47.6 19.9 91.2 52.9 126.3C38 405.7 7 439.1 6.5 439.5c-6.6 7-8.4 17.2-4.6 26S14.4 480 24 480c61.5 0 110-25.7 139.1-46.3C192 442.8 223.2 448 256 448c141.4 0 256-93.1 256-208S397.4 32 256 32zm0 368c-26.7 0-53.1-4.1-78.4-12.1l-22.7-7.2-19.5 13.8c-14.3 10.1-33.9 21.4-57.5 29 7.3-12.1 14.4-25.7 19.9-40.2l10.6-28.1-20.6-21.8C69.7 314.1 48 282.2 48 240c0-88.2 93.3-160 208-160s208 71.8 208 160-93.3 160-208 160z\"><\/path><\/svg>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-text elementor-post-info__item elementor-post-info__item--type-comments\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tNo Comments\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<\/ul>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a17d19d elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"a17d19d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div style=\"text-align:center;\u201d>\r\n<span class=\"bsf-rt-reading-time\"><span class=\"bsf-rt-display-label\" prefix=\"Reading Time\">\n\t\t<\/span> <span class=\"bsf-rt-display-time\" reading_time=\"4\"><\/span> \n\t\t<span class=\"bsf-rt-display-postfix\" postfix=\"mins\"><\/span><\/span>\r\n<\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-33 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-70a0327\" data-id=\"70a0327\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-228f411 elementor-widget elementor-widget-theme-post-featured-image elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"228f411\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"theme-post-featured-image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-content\/uploads\/elementor\/thumbs\/hear-mso350-qon9iebuo2hqkcnvz2sq0uhqrl7m15s0mo7u7v4rnk.jpg\" title=\"hear-mso350\" alt=\"Listening Icon\" loading=\"lazy\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-564deafe elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"564deafe\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-50744aaa\" data-id=\"50744aaa\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-790b4e7c elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"790b4e7c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Everything that makes a relationship successful has one common element \u2013 effective communication. In order to grow your business, you must be able to develop relationships. Effective communication is the lynchpin that starts and holds all relationships together: both personal and professional.<\/p><h3>How to Stop Communication Disasters<\/h3><p>Too often, we are only half listening to what people are saying. This is because we believe we know what the other person is going to say or because our mind is on something else.<\/p><p>Sometimes we think we understood, but don&#8217;t clarify to find out if, in fact, we did hear correctly.<\/p><p><strong> Some other things that cause miscommunication are: <\/strong><\/p><ul><li><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-3117 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/hear-mso.jpg\" alt=\"Listening\" width=\"184\" height=\"163\" title=\"\">Ineffective listening<\/li><li>Noise<\/li><li>Meaning in words<\/li><li>Language<\/li><li>Gate keeping<\/li><li>Appearances<\/li><\/ul><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>To what degree have you developed <em>your<\/em> listening skills?\u00a0 Listening is considered one of the most important skills in business, yet it is rarely taught in schools.<\/p><p>Our minds are often in the past or future, depending on what we have done or need to do. Other times we are guessing or assuming what others are going to say. Some people are even afraid of what the other person might be saying and do not want to hear. Many times people only &#8220;listen&#8221; enough to respond.<\/p><p>Noises of all kinds get in our way. These distractions prevent us from hearing. They can be other people, telephones, radios, TVs, and more. Many noises don\u2019t make a sound. They are based on how we are feeling, our bias, knowledge, skill, and background to name a few.<\/p><p>Also, when it comes to defining words, the first is the standard dictionary definition. However, many words have multiple meanings, especially in the English language where slang is prevalent.<\/p><p>Your own experience, the society in which you were raised, whether English is your first language, any emotional issues associated with the word, and your level of education could all effect the definition of the word.<\/p><p>One of the biggest blocks is gate keeping. This is anything that your brain or unconscious self does not want to accept as true or relevant. We <em>filter<\/em> out most of what we are exposed to in the course of a day. If we were to see and notice everything at once, we would go crazy. So our brain\u2019s RAS (Reticular Activating System), says, &#8220;Is this important or a danger?&#8221; If the answer is no, it filters it away.<\/p><p>The problem is we don\u2019t realize what we are stopping at the gate. And with whom you are communicating also has their own gate keeping system.<\/p><p>One must also be aware of their audience, the person with whom you are trying to communicate. If you are attending a formal function and you are dressed in a relaxed manner such as jeans and a t-shirt, the other attendees will be spending more time thinking about how you are dressed rather than really listening to what you are saying. The same applies in reverse. If you are very overdressed for an occasion, others may feel threatened or potentially even fear you. Remember, your clothes communicate a message.<\/p><p>It is important to clarify that all parties involved have understood what was meant. Repeat this process until you know everyone understands.<\/p><p>Too often disasters happen because of miscommunication. It is up to you to do something about it. Remember, it can be as simple as asking a person to clarify.<\/p><h3>Be Curious and Be a Successful Communicator<\/h3><p>There are many ways to improve the way you communicate. For example, you will always start things off on the right foot by opening the conversation in a way that creates mutual respect. Using phrases such as, &#8220;If you have a minute, I&#8217;d like to talk with you about something that I think will improve the way we work together,&#8221; helps set your conversation partner at ease. It tells him or her that you have positive intentions.<\/p><p>It is also important to know your purpose for the conversation. Some purposes are more useful than others. A useful purpose is one you have power over. For instance, you can control your own reaction; you can share your view; learn about your partner&#8217;s view; work toward a sustainable solution.<\/p><p>On the other hand, examples of purposes that are NOT useful are: trying to change the other person; attempting to control their reaction; or going in with a hidden agenda.<\/p><h3>Be Interested<\/h3><p>Of the many ways to improve your conversation skills, one of the best is to be interested. Curiosity is one of the most useful tools in the communication toolbox. When you enter the conversation with &#8220;beginner&#8217;s mind,&#8221; you will necessarily adopt the attitude of a learner. You will not have to pretend to ask honest, open questions. They will come naturally. As you listen, you can reflect on what is being said (and not said). You will gain information and ease tension. If you can&#8217;t think of a question, you can always acknowledge what you&#8217;ve heard, or you can say: &#8220;I see, tell me more about that.&#8221;<\/p><p>One of the reasons we&#8217;re not curious more often is that we mentally equate curiosity with agreement. We think that if we don&#8217;t disagree immediately, our conversation partner will assume we&#8217;re okay with whatever he or she is saying. This is not useful thinking. It prevents you from seeing the whole picture and from learning where your partner is coming from.<\/p><p>The next time you find yourself in a difficult conversation, give yourself and your partner a gift by asking questions &#8211; questions to which you do not know the answer. Watch what happens. You will learn a lot, and you will feel more powerful, not less. Remember, listening does not equal agreement. It means you are a skilled and active learner, a good partner, and a conscious communicator. Live, learn, and enjoy the moment.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Everything that makes a relationship successful has one common element \u2013 effective communication. In order to grow your business, you must be able to develop relationships. Effective communication is the lynchpin that starts and holds all relationships together\u2013personal and professional.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":7524,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpscppro_dont_share_socialmedia":false,"_wpscppro_custom_social_share_image":0,"_facebook_share_type":"","_twitter_share_type":"","_linkedin_share_type":"","_pinterest_share_type":"","_linkedin_share_type_page":"","_instagram_share_type":"","_medium_share_type":"","_threads_share_type":"","_google_business_share_type":"","_selected_social_profile":[],"_wpsp_enable_custom_social_template":false,"_wpsp_social_scheduling":{"enabled":false,"datetime":null,"platforms":[],"status":"template_only","dateOption":"today","timeOption":"now","customDays":"","customHours":"","customDate":"","customTime":"","schedulingType":"absolute"},"_wpsp_active_default_template":true},"categories":[24,170,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3059","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication-skills","category-executive-coaching","category-listening-skill"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-content\/uploads\/hear-mso350.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1I2Yr-Nl","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3059","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3059"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3059\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7524"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3059"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3059"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3059"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}