{"id":36,"date":"2010-09-30T15:45:55","date_gmt":"2010-09-30T20:45:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/smartleadership.wordpress.com\/?p=36"},"modified":"2023-05-11T14:00:39","modified_gmt":"2023-05-11T19:00:39","slug":"to-be-honest","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/to-be-honest\/","title":{"rendered":"&quot;To be honest,&quot; you sound like a liar"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"bsf_rt_marker\"><\/div>\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"36\" class=\"elementor elementor-36\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-65581cb elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"65581cb\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div 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liar<\/h1>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2c1117e elementor-align-center elementor-widget elementor-widget-post-info\" data-id=\"2c1117e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"post-info.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<ul class=\"elementor-inline-items elementor-icon-list-items elementor-post-info\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<li class=\"elementor-icon-list-item elementor-repeater-item-fcfa45b elementor-inline-item\" itemprop=\"author\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/author\/lbwebmaster\/\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<svg aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"e-font-icon-svg e-far-user-circle\" viewBox=\"0 0 496 512\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><path d=\"M248 104c-53 0-96 43-96 96s43 96 96 96 96-43 96-96-43-96-96-96zm0 144c-26.5 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href=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/2010\/09\/30\/\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<svg aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"e-font-icon-svg e-fas-calendar\" viewBox=\"0 0 448 512\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><path d=\"M12 192h424c6.6 0 12 5.4 12 12v260c0 26.5-21.5 48-48 48H48c-26.5 0-48-21.5-48-48V204c0-6.6 5.4-12 12-12zm436-44v-36c0-26.5-21.5-48-48-48h-48V12c0-6.6-5.4-12-12-12h-40c-6.6 0-12 5.4-12 12v52H160V12c0-6.6-5.4-12-12-12h-40c-6.6 0-12 5.4-12 12v52H48C21.5 64 0 85.5 0 112v36c0 6.6 5.4 12 12 12h424c6.6 0 12-5.4 12-12z\"><\/path><\/svg>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-text elementor-post-info__item elementor-post-info__item--type-date\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<time>September 30, 2010<\/time>\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<li class=\"elementor-icon-list-item elementor-repeater-item-9c8288a elementor-inline-item\" itemprop=\"commentCount\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/to-be-honest\/#comments\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<svg aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"e-font-icon-svg e-far-comment-dots\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><path d=\"M144 208c-17.7 0-32 14.3-32 32s14.3 32 32 32 32-14.3 32-32-14.3-32-32-32zm112 0c-17.7 0-32 14.3-32 32s14.3 32 32 32 32-14.3 32-32-14.3-32-32-32zm112 0c-17.7 0-32 14.3-32 32s14.3 32 32 32 32-14.3 32-32-14.3-32-32-32zM256 32C114.6 32 0 125.1 0 240c0 47.6 19.9 91.2 52.9 126.3C38 405.7 7 439.1 6.5 439.5c-6.6 7-8.4 17.2-4.6 26S14.4 480 24 480c61.5 0 110-25.7 139.1-46.3C192 442.8 223.2 448 256 448c141.4 0 256-93.1 256-208S397.4 32 256 32zm0 368c-26.7 0-53.1-4.1-78.4-12.1l-22.7-7.2-19.5 13.8c-14.3 10.1-33.9 21.4-57.5 29 7.3-12.1 14.4-25.7 19.9-40.2l10.6-28.1-20.6-21.8C69.7 314.1 48 282.2 48 240c0-88.2 93.3-160 208-160s208 71.8 208 160-93.3 160-208 160z\"><\/path><\/svg>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-text elementor-post-info__item elementor-post-info__item--type-comments\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tOne Comment\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<\/ul>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a17d19d elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"a17d19d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div style=\"text-align:center;\u201d>\r\n<span class=\"bsf-rt-reading-time\"><span class=\"bsf-rt-display-label\" prefix=\"Reading Time\">\n\t\t<\/span> <span class=\"bsf-rt-display-time\" reading_time=\"2\"><\/span> \n\t\t<span class=\"bsf-rt-display-postfix\" postfix=\"mins\"><\/span><\/span>\r\n<\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-33 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-70a0327\" data-id=\"70a0327\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-228f411 elementor-widget elementor-widget-theme-post-featured-image elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"228f411\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"theme-post-featured-image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-content\/uploads\/elementor\/thumbs\/dress-qon9j3phslgh9tn0uvrne636szqiszkrq5ty6c34zk.jpg\" title=\"dress\" alt=\"Dress Image\" loading=\"lazy\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-19cffd56 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"19cffd56\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-3117520a\" data-id=\"3117520a\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-9547cab elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"9547cab\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h4 style=\"text-align: center;\">Despite the best intentions, beginning your sentence with those three little words can defeat your purpose.<\/h4><p>Do you ever find yourself beginning a sentence with some form of the phrase: &#8220;<strong><em>To be honest..<\/em>.<\/strong>&#8220;?\u00a0 Or &#8220;<em><strong>To tell you the truth<\/strong><\/em>&#8230;&#8221;?<\/p><h3>To be honest, what&#8217;s the problem?<\/h3><p>Why is this phrase potentially <em><strong>problematic? <\/strong><\/em>It <em>automatically <\/em>creates perception <em>problems<\/em>.\u00a0 The unspoken implication is that being honest or &#8220;<em>perfectly honest<\/em>&#8221; is a such a rare occasion that you need to preface your rare moments of truth. \u00a0 Assuming that you want to avoid any implication that you are a <em>conditionally honest<\/em> person, I implore you to STOP using this phrase. Perceptions of your personal integrity are critical to building trust.\u00a0 This little language lapse can put your reputation in question and hinder your ability to lead.\u00a0 It&#8217;s likely that those who hear your declaration of honesty are sub-consciously questioning your integrity.\u00a0 It is true that many people naively use these phrases. But why take that chance of potentially diminishing your integrity?<\/p><p>Because I&#8217;m aware of these implications, I cringe when ever I hear that preface.\u00a0 Former football announcer Pat Haden, who is literally a Rhodes Scholar, would use this phrase repeatedly throughout his broadcasts.\u00a0 Every time I heard it, I wanted to dig him a hole for him to crawl into.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><h3>The Whole Truth<\/h3><p>From our experience with witness&#8217; oaths, we&#8217;ve heard there is &#8220;<em>the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth<\/em>&#8220;.\u00a0 Theoretically, it&#8217;s not a multiple choice deal when you&#8217;re under oath.\u00a0 You&#8217;ve pledged to provide all three.\u00a0 Although sometimes litigators seem to really be seeking their own limited version of truth when they prevent witnesses from elaborating on their answers.<\/p><p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-1657\" src=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/dress-150x150.jpg\" alt=\"Dress Image\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" title=\"\">In every day life, we&#8217;re not under oath.\u00a0 And &#8220;discretion is the better part of valor&#8221;.\u00a0 So sometimes the &#8220;whole truth&#8221; should <em><strong>not <\/strong><\/em>be told.\u00a0 Full disclosure needs to be situational.\u00a0 If you don&#8217;t believe me, consider a lifetime of being perfectly honesty with this question: <em><strong>&#8220;Does this dress make me look fat?&#8221;<\/strong><\/em> The defense rests!\u00a0 You don&#8217;t need to be in court to invoke some form of 5th Amendment rights.<\/p><p>I&#8217;m simply suggesting that there is better way to frame your &#8220;whole truth&#8221; moments to avoid sounding like you might be a habitual liar.<\/p><h3>Truth vs. Candor<\/h3><p>The real issue here is problematic language. The misused word in the preface &#8220;<em>To be honest with you<\/em>&#8221; is\u00a0 &#8220;<strong><em>honest&#8221;<\/em><\/strong>. To avoid integrity perception problems, I advise that you replace &#8220;honest&#8221; with some form of the words &#8220;<em><strong>candor<\/strong><\/em>&#8221; (like candid) or &#8220;<strong><em>frank<\/em><\/strong>&#8220;.\u00a0 Simply <strong>stop <\/strong>saying &#8220;<em><strong>To be <\/strong><strong>honest<\/strong><\/em>&#8221; and <strong>start <\/strong>saying &#8220;<strong><em>To be really candid<\/em><\/strong>&#8220;.<\/p><h3>Football Footnote<\/h3><p>The aforementioned Pat Haden has found a new place to be conditionally honest. He&#8217;s left the TV broadcast booth for Notre Dame football to become the new Athletic Director at his Alma Mater, scandal plagued University of Southern California.\u00a0 To be candid, I wonder why he would want <em>that <\/em>job?<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you ever find yourself prefacing your remarks with some version of the phrase &#8220;to be honest&#8230;&#8221;?  While honesty is the best policy, let&#8217;s explore how you may be sending the wrong message by using this phrase and how you can correct this potentially unproductive habit.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1657,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpscppro_dont_share_socialmedia":false,"_wpscppro_custom_social_share_image":0,"_facebook_share_type":"","_twitter_share_type":"","_linkedin_share_type":"","_pinterest_share_type":"","_linkedin_share_type_page":"","_instagram_share_type":"","_medium_share_type":"","_threads_share_type":"","_google_business_share_type":"","_selected_social_profile":[],"_wpsp_enable_custom_social_template":false,"_wpsp_social_scheduling":{"enabled":false,"datetime":null,"platforms":[],"status":"template_only","dateOption":"today","timeOption":"now","customDays":"","customHours":"","customDate":"","customTime":"","schedulingType":"absolute"},"_wpsp_active_default_template":true},"categories":[19,24,100],"tags":[283,39],"class_list":["post-36","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-truth-vs-candor","category-communication-skills","category-integrity","tag-communication-skills","tag-linkedin"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/dress.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1I2Yr-A","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1657"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}