{"id":4067,"date":"2014-06-26T07:54:26","date_gmt":"2014-06-26T12:54:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/?p=4067"},"modified":"2023-05-10T13:32:05","modified_gmt":"2023-05-10T18:32:05","slug":"distracted-listening-a-two-minute-solution","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/distracted-listening-a-two-minute-solution\/","title":{"rendered":"Distracted Listening &#8211; A Two Minute Solution"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"bsf_rt_marker\"><\/div>\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"4067\" class=\"elementor elementor-4067\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-c8aa846 elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"c8aa846\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-329fca4\" data-id=\"329fca4\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-83aba6f elementor-widget elementor-widget-template\" data-id=\"83aba6f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"template.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-template\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"section\" data-elementor-id=\"12411\" class=\"elementor elementor-12411\" data-elementor-post-type=\"elementor_library\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-1255d61 elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-content-middle elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"1255d61\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-66 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-6264de3\" data-id=\"6264de3\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-61125fc elementor-widget elementor-widget-theme-post-title elementor-page-title elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"61125fc\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"theme-post-title.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h1 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Distracted Listening &#8211; A Two Minute Solution<\/h1>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2c1117e elementor-align-center elementor-widget elementor-widget-post-info\" data-id=\"2c1117e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"post-info.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<ul class=\"elementor-inline-items elementor-icon-list-items elementor-post-info\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<li class=\"elementor-icon-list-item elementor-repeater-item-fcfa45b elementor-inline-item\" itemprop=\"author\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/author\/lbwebmaster\/\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<svg aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"e-font-icon-svg e-far-user-circle\" viewBox=\"0 0 496 512\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><path d=\"M248 104c-53 0-96 43-96 96s43 96 96 96 96-43 96-96-43-96-96-96zm0 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href=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/2014\/06\/26\/\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<svg aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"e-font-icon-svg e-fas-calendar\" viewBox=\"0 0 448 512\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><path d=\"M12 192h424c6.6 0 12 5.4 12 12v260c0 26.5-21.5 48-48 48H48c-26.5 0-48-21.5-48-48V204c0-6.6 5.4-12 12-12zm436-44v-36c0-26.5-21.5-48-48-48h-48V12c0-6.6-5.4-12-12-12h-40c-6.6 0-12 5.4-12 12v52H160V12c0-6.6-5.4-12-12-12h-40c-6.6 0-12 5.4-12 12v52H48C21.5 64 0 85.5 0 112v36c0 6.6 5.4 12 12 12h424c6.6 0 12-5.4 12-12z\"><\/path><\/svg>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-text elementor-post-info__item elementor-post-info__item--type-date\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<time>June 26, 2014<\/time>\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<li class=\"elementor-icon-list-item elementor-repeater-item-9c8288a elementor-inline-item\" 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93.3-160 208-160s208 71.8 208 160-93.3 160-208 160z\"><\/path><\/svg>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-text elementor-post-info__item elementor-post-info__item--type-comments\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tNo Comments\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<\/ul>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a17d19d elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"a17d19d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div style=\"text-align:center;\u201d>\r\n<span class=\"bsf-rt-reading-time\"><span class=\"bsf-rt-display-label\" prefix=\"Reading Time\">\n\t\t<\/span> <span class=\"bsf-rt-display-time\" reading_time=\"2\"><\/span> \n\t\t<span class=\"bsf-rt-display-postfix\" postfix=\"mins\"><\/span><\/span>\r\n<\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-33 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-70a0327\" data-id=\"70a0327\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-228f411 elementor-widget elementor-widget-theme-post-featured-image elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"228f411\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"theme-post-featured-image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-content\/uploads\/elementor\/thumbs\/distracted_couple-qon9jaad4fphj3dgsgm1dmfeyou3avaw32ecj9tds0.jpg\" title=\"distracted_couple-sf\" alt=\"Distracted Listening\" loading=\"lazy\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-7e52062d elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"7e52062d\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-5db1a27\" data-id=\"5db1a27\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7d8d4033 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"7d8d4033\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h3><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-3955 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-content\/uploads\/phone.png\" alt=\"Smart Phone\" width=\"260\" height=\"279\" title=\"\">Electronic Distractions<\/h3>\r\nTexting while driving is a practice proven to be dangerous and even fatal. We now have laws prohibiting the use of hand-held devices that cause <em><strong>distracted driving<\/strong><\/em>. I hope you&#8217;re a law-abiding driver.\r\n\r\nEven though you&#8217;re <em>not<\/em> using your phone while you&#8217;re behind the wheel, you still have ample opportunities to stay connected with the wireless world. Let&#8217;s assume you&#8217;ve conquered the demons of <strong><em>distracted driving<\/em><\/strong>. I&#8217;d like to make you aware of a new challenge: <strong><em>distracted listening<\/em><\/strong>.\u00a0 This occurs when you&#8217;re physically <em>with<\/em> another person <em>but<\/em> your attention and interests are elsewhere.\u00a0 Your hand-held device makes distracted listening an even bigger challenge.\r\n\r\nDistracted listening is not as <em>physically<\/em> dangerous as distracted driving.\u00a0 But it is highly hazardous to your ability to develop meaningful relationships. Consider&#8230;\r\n<h3>How Do YOU Feel?<\/h3>\r\n<figure id=\"attachment_4070\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-4070\" style=\"width: 330px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-4070 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-content\/uploads\/distracted_couple.jpg\" alt=\"Distracted Listening\" width=\"330\" height=\"220\" title=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-content\/uploads\/distracted_couple.jpg 330w, https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-content\/uploads\/distracted_couple-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 330px) 100vw, 330px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-4070\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Licensed by StockFresh<\/figcaption><\/figure>\r\n\r\nThink about a time when you&#8217;re with someone who is paying more attention to an electronic device than to <em>you<\/em>. How does that person make you <strong><em>feel<\/em><\/strong>? Do these feelings capture the experience?\r\n<ul>\r\n\t<li>Insulted<\/li>\r\n\t<li>Angry<\/li>\r\n\t<li>Frustrated<\/li>\r\n\t<li>Diminished<\/li>\r\n\t<li>Disrespected<\/li>\r\n\t<li>Slighted<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\nIs it possible that you are inflicting these same feelings on others when the distracted listener is YOU?\u00a0 And the habit is not limited to electronic distractions.\r\n\r\nWhy would you choose to be so distracted?\u00a0 While it is likely not a <em>conscious<\/em> choice, that doesn&#8217;t diminish the emotional punishment that you&#8217;re dishing out. Consider the public service announcement slogan about distracted driving:\r\n<blockquote><strong>&#8220;It can wait.&#8221;<\/strong><\/blockquote>\r\n<h3>Is <em>Distracted Listening<\/em> a Habit You Want to Change?<\/h3>\r\nIf so, just trying to <strong><em>stop<\/em> <\/strong>doing it doesn&#8217;t work. In order to change a habit, you must replace it with something else. You need to be aware of the consequences and care enough to make a change.\u00a0 So here&#8217;s my suggestion.\u00a0 <strong>Begin<\/strong> each interaction with&#8230;\r\n<h3>The Cure: Start With Two Minutes of <em><strong>Total Presence<\/strong><\/em><\/h3>\r\n<h3><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-4072 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-content\/uploads\/stopwatch-mso.jpg\" alt=\"Stop Watch\" width=\"240\" height=\"275\" title=\"\"><\/h3>\r\nWhat is &#8220;<strong>Total Presence&#8221;<\/strong>?\u00a0 This occurs when you consciously give the other person your engaged, exclusive attention.\r\n<ul>\r\n\t<li>No distractions<\/li>\r\n\t<li>Complete Engagement<\/li>\r\n\t<li>Listen with your eyes and your ears<\/li>\r\n\t<li>Use those senses to understand the body language and emotions<\/li>\r\n\t<li>Nothing else matters for that moment<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\nThose two minutes give you momentum for a quality interaction.\u00a0 <strong>Make it a habit.<\/strong> For the rest of the time, don&#8217;t you dare <em>screw up<\/em> your rapport by reaching for an electronic device. It is guaranteed to inflict emotional distress on another human being.\r\n<h3>Related Posts<\/h3>\r\n<ul>\r\n\t<li><a href=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/smart-phones-dumb-people\/\">Smart Phones, Dumb People<\/a><\/li>\r\n\t<li><a title=\"Should Interruptions Be Pardoned?\" href=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/interruptions\/\">Should Interruptions be Pardoned?<\/a><\/li>\r\n\t<li><a href=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/the-encore-to-start-with-why\/\">Leadership Biology 201<\/a><\/li>\r\n\t<li><a href=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/body-language-breakthrough\/\">Body Language Breakthrough<\/a><\/li>\r\n\t<li><a href=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/just-dont-do-it\/\">Just Don\u2019t Do It<\/a><\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We now have laws prohibiting distracted driving.  It&#8217;s proven to be dangerous and sometimes fatal.  If you&#8217;re not using your phone while you&#8217;re behind the wheel, it still leaves ample opportunities to stay connected with the wireless world. Once you&#8217;ve conquered the demons of distracted driving, your next challenge is distracted listening.  This occurs when you&#8217;re physically with another person but your attention and interests are elsewhere.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":4070,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Distracted Listening - your next hand device vice  http:\/\/wp.me\/p1I2Yr-13B","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpscppro_dont_share_socialmedia":false,"_wpscppro_custom_social_share_image":0,"_facebook_share_type":"","_twitter_share_type":"","_linkedin_share_type":"","_pinterest_share_type":"","_linkedin_share_type_page":"","_instagram_share_type":"","_medium_share_type":"","_threads_share_type":"","_google_business_share_type":"","_selected_social_profile":[],"_wpsp_enable_custom_social_template":false,"_wpsp_social_scheduling":{"enabled":false,"datetime":null,"platforms":[],"status":"template_only","dateOption":"today","timeOption":"now","customDays":"","customHours":"","customDate":"","customTime":"","schedulingType":"absolute"},"_wpsp_active_default_template":true},"categories":[24,170,208,29,30],"tags":[283,190,42],"class_list":["post-4067","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication-skills","category-executive-coaching","category-influencing-skills-2","category-leadership-development","category-listening-skill","tag-communication-skills","tag-non-verbal-communication","tag-self-leadership"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-content\/uploads\/distracted_couple.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1I2Yr-13B","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4067","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4067"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4067\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4070"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4067"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4067"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4067"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}