{"id":835,"date":"2011-09-27T17:47:24","date_gmt":"2011-09-27T22:47:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/?p=835"},"modified":"2023-05-12T09:43:45","modified_gmt":"2023-05-12T14:43:45","slug":"are-you-playing-the-blame-game","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/are-you-playing-the-blame-game\/","title":{"rendered":"Are You Playing The Blame Game?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"bsf_rt_marker\"><\/div>\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"835\" class=\"elementor elementor-835\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-ee396de elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"ee396de\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-20c1906\" data-id=\"20c1906\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5ec73b2 elementor-widget elementor-widget-template\" data-id=\"5ec73b2\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"template.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-template\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"section\" data-elementor-id=\"12411\" class=\"elementor elementor-12411\" data-elementor-post-type=\"elementor_library\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-1255d61 elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-content-middle elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"1255d61\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-66 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-6264de3\" data-id=\"6264de3\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-61125fc elementor-widget elementor-widget-theme-post-title elementor-page-title elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"61125fc\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"theme-post-title.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h1 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Are You Playing The Blame Game?<\/h1>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2c1117e elementor-align-center elementor-widget elementor-widget-post-info\" data-id=\"2c1117e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"post-info.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<ul class=\"elementor-inline-items elementor-icon-list-items elementor-post-info\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<li class=\"elementor-icon-list-item elementor-repeater-item-fcfa45b elementor-inline-item\" itemprop=\"author\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/author\/lbwebmaster\/\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<svg aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"e-font-icon-svg e-far-user-circle\" viewBox=\"0 0 496 512\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><path d=\"M248 104c-53 0-96 43-96 96s43 96 96 96 96-43 96-96-43-96-96-96zm0 144c-26.5 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href=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/2011\/09\/27\/\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<svg aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"e-font-icon-svg e-fas-calendar\" viewBox=\"0 0 448 512\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><path d=\"M12 192h424c6.6 0 12 5.4 12 12v260c0 26.5-21.5 48-48 48H48c-26.5 0-48-21.5-48-48V204c0-6.6 5.4-12 12-12zm436-44v-36c0-26.5-21.5-48-48-48h-48V12c0-6.6-5.4-12-12-12h-40c-6.6 0-12 5.4-12 12v52H160V12c0-6.6-5.4-12-12-12h-40c-6.6 0-12 5.4-12 12v52H48C21.5 64 0 85.5 0 112v36c0 6.6 5.4 12 12 12h424c6.6 0 12-5.4 12-12z\"><\/path><\/svg>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-text elementor-post-info__item elementor-post-info__item--type-date\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<time>September 27, 2011<\/time>\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<li class=\"elementor-icon-list-item elementor-repeater-item-9c8288a elementor-inline-item\" itemprop=\"commentCount\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/are-you-playing-the-blame-game\/#respond\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<svg aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"e-font-icon-svg e-far-comment-dots\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><path d=\"M144 208c-17.7 0-32 14.3-32 32s14.3 32 32 32 32-14.3 32-32-14.3-32-32-32zm112 0c-17.7 0-32 14.3-32 32s14.3 32 32 32 32-14.3 32-32-14.3-32-32-32zm112 0c-17.7 0-32 14.3-32 32s14.3 32 32 32 32-14.3 32-32-14.3-32-32-32zM256 32C114.6 32 0 125.1 0 240c0 47.6 19.9 91.2 52.9 126.3C38 405.7 7 439.1 6.5 439.5c-6.6 7-8.4 17.2-4.6 26S14.4 480 24 480c61.5 0 110-25.7 139.1-46.3C192 442.8 223.2 448 256 448c141.4 0 256-93.1 256-208S397.4 32 256 32zm0 368c-26.7 0-53.1-4.1-78.4-12.1l-22.7-7.2-19.5 13.8c-14.3 10.1-33.9 21.4-57.5 29 7.3-12.1 14.4-25.7 19.9-40.2l10.6-28.1-20.6-21.8C69.7 314.1 48 282.2 48 240c0-88.2 93.3-160 208-160s208 71.8 208 160-93.3 160-208 160z\"><\/path><\/svg>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-text elementor-post-info__item elementor-post-info__item--type-comments\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tNo Comments\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<\/ul>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a17d19d elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"a17d19d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div style=\"text-align:center;\u201d>\r\n<span class=\"bsf-rt-reading-time\"><span class=\"bsf-rt-display-label\" prefix=\"Reading Time\">\n\t\t<\/span> <span class=\"bsf-rt-display-time\" reading_time=\"2\"><\/span> \n\t\t<span class=\"bsf-rt-display-postfix\" postfix=\"mins\"><\/span><\/span>\r\n<\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-33 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-70a0327\" data-id=\"70a0327\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-228f411 elementor-widget elementor-widget-theme-post-featured-image elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"228f411\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"theme-post-featured-image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-content\/uploads\/elementor\/thumbs\/point-qon9jfxe9fx7gr59vj1ssl06j02al1xa3ub9exl0qo.jpg\" title=\"point\" alt=\"Pointing\" loading=\"lazy\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-5709d5ba elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"5709d5ba\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-432d3114\" data-id=\"432d3114\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-fba46d8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"fba46d8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Even when you know better, finger-pointing is an easy habit to adopt. And once you start, it&#8217;s difficult to stop.\u00a0 After all, what gets rewarded, gets repeated.\u00a0 Avoiding accountability has its short-term rewards.<\/p><h3>Finger Fix?<\/h3><p>As with any habit that needs to change, you first need to be aware that it&#8217;s happening. Then you need to understand how damaging it is.\u00a0 Then, you have a chance to make a lasting change.\u00a0 So if you can admit that you occasionally point that incriminating finger of blame, there&#8217;s hope for you.\u00a0 Now we can consider why you should stop.<\/p><h3>Scoring <em>&#8220;Points&#8221;<\/em><\/h3><p>If you believe that others should be accountable for their responsibilities, you must hold yourself to a platinum standard.\u00a0 There&#8217;s a time-tested warning about directing the finger of blame at others.<\/p><p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft\" title=\"point\" src=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/point.jpg\" alt=\"Pointing\" width=\"137\" height=\"137\" \/><\/p><p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Whenever you point your finger at someone, there are always three others pointing back in your direction.<\/strong><\/p><p>While you may not physically point the finger, you get yourself sucked into playing <em>The Blame Game<\/em> whenever you proclaim <em>&#8220;it&#8217;s not my fault<\/em>&#8220;.<\/p><h3>Are You A &#8220;Creator&#8221; or A &#8220;Victim&#8221;?<\/h3><p>There is a school of thought that we can place people&#8217;s attitudes in one of two categories: <strong><em>creators<\/em><\/strong> or <em><strong>victims<\/strong><\/em>.\u00a0 Whose who play The Blame Game fall into the victim category. Here are the contrasting differences in the language of these two attitudes.<\/p><ol><li>Victims <strong>make excuses<\/strong>. Creators <strong>seek solutions<\/strong>.<\/li><li>Victims <strong>blame others<\/strong>. Creators <strong>accept responsibility<\/strong>.<\/li><li>Victims <strong>complain<\/strong>. Creators <strong>take action<\/strong>.<\/li><li>Victims <strong>repeat<\/strong> ineffective behavior. Creators <strong>do something new<\/strong>.<\/li><li>Victims <strong><em>\u201chave to\u201d<\/em><\/strong> do things. Creators \u201c<em><strong>choose<\/strong><\/em>\u201d to do things.<\/li><li>Victims are <strong>part of the problem<\/strong>. Creators are <strong>part of the solution<\/strong>.<\/li><li>Victims pretend their problems belong to others. (They say <strong><em>\u201cyou\u201d<\/em><\/strong> when they mean \u201c<strong>I<\/strong>.\u201d). Creators own their problems. (They say <strong><em>\u201cI\u201d<\/em><\/strong> when referring to their own problems.)<\/li><li>Victims <strong><em>\u201ctry.\u201d<\/em><\/strong> Creators <strong>commit<\/strong> and follow through.<\/li><li>Victims <strong>give up<\/strong>.\u00a0 Creators <strong><em>take control<\/em><\/strong> of their choices and their lives.<\/li><\/ol><p>How many of these words and mindsets are part of your routine?\u00a0 How many negative points are you scoring in <em>The Blame Game<\/em>?<\/p><p>It may be true that &#8220;it&#8217;s not your fault.&#8221;\u00a0 But before you say so or point that frail finger of <em>victim-ship<\/em>, consider the choice you&#8217;re about to make.<\/p><hr \/><h4 style=\"text-align: left;\">Related Post:<\/h4><p style=\"text-align: left;\"><a title=\"Don\u2019t get mad, get\u2026\" href=\"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/dont-get-mad-get\/\">Don\u2019t get mad, get\u2026<\/a><\/p><h4 style=\"text-align: left;\">Footnotes: Conceptual credit goes to:<\/h4><ul><li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.herdlinger.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">David Herdlinger<\/a> who shared the creator-victim contrasts in a keynote to the RAC Network Conference around 2005.<\/li><li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Skip-Downing\/e\/B001HP8ROI\/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_pop_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Skip Downing<\/a> who published similar thoughts in <em>On Course, Strategies for Creating Success in College and in Life<\/em><\/li><\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Whenever you point your finger, there are always three others pointing in the opposite direction. Learn the 8 Eye Opening Attributes help you discover you&#8217;re playing: The Blame Game.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":837,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpscppro_dont_share_socialmedia":false,"_wpscppro_custom_social_share_image":0,"_facebook_share_type":"","_twitter_share_type":"","_linkedin_share_type":"","_pinterest_share_type":"","_linkedin_share_type_page":"","_instagram_share_type":"","_medium_share_type":"","_threads_share_type":"","_google_business_share_type":"","_selected_social_profile":[],"_wpsp_enable_custom_social_template":false,"_wpsp_social_scheduling":{"enabled":false,"datetime":null,"platforms":[],"status":"template_only","dateOption":"today","timeOption":"now","customDays":"","customHours":"","customDate":"","customTime":"","schedulingType":"absolute"},"_wpsp_active_default_template":true},"categories":[15,100,33],"tags":[282,39,40,42,144],"class_list":["post-835","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-accountability","category-integrity","category-self-leaderhship","tag-attitude-development","tag-linkedin","tag-positive-attitude","tag-self-leadership","tag-victim-mindset"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/point.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1I2Yr-dt","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/835","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=835"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/835\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/837"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=835"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=835"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoexecutivecoaching.com\/smartleadership\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=835"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}