Managers get to tell people what to do. Leaders inspire others to take action.
All too often managers use their authority over those they manage to dictate what should be done. Where did they learn this “influencing skill”? This is where I blame your mother.
Remember a time when you questioned your parents’ request by asking “Why?” And your questioning triggered the response:
“Because I said so.”
As a parent you’ve likely been triggered in kind. You lacked the patience to explain things and simply pulled rank and demanded compliance. How often do we witness managers using this authoritarian approach? As a subordinate, how does it make you feel about the task at hand
If we believe that manager’s role is defined by telling their people what to do, agreement is not required. Compliance is required. How do we develop influencing skills that go beyond demanding blind compliance? Is there a quick fix?
For a leader, securing agreement is NOT an option. It’s a requirement. And what better way to get your followers to agree than learning to effectively use the word AGREE?
Sales leaders are taught that effective selling involves a series of agreements. If you think you’re not in sales, think again. And, consider how securing more agreements more effectively can make you a better leader.
As an executive, consider the tasks at hand for any initiative Consider the people needed to execute your plan. What agreements need to be in place to succeed? What have we all agreed to? What conversations or written dialog have you secured in advance to assure and define who will be doing what by when?
If you have agreements with all responsible parties, you now have a license to invoke some form of the magic word: AGREE.
When shortfalls occur, typically someone has not lived up to an agreement. There is a lapse in integrity. Responsible people are willing to be held accountable for their agreements. When inevitable shortfalls occur, a skilled leader has a license to progressively review unfulfilled agreements by having adult to adult conversations. And thereby gain the ability to avoid parent – child discussions.
Avoidance of accountability discussions is the prevalent trait of a weak leaders and managers. With agreements in place, accountability conversations are less stressful and thereby less likely to be avoided. Integrity and accountability prevail.
In the grand scheme of magic words: Please and thank you generate acknowledgement and respect. Agreement lays the groundwork commitment and execution. Which word is more magical for a leader?
I told you the deadline. It wasn’t met. You’re on probation for this.
- Do you remember when we planned this out and you agreed to be responsible for ___________?
- What’s happening with that?
How can we assure this happens?
What can you agree to now?
Learning to habitually use the magic word agree may not be a quick fix. Developing new habits takes time and practice. But can we agree, it’s a really simple, and potentially game changing approach?
If you’ve seen Animal House, you remember Bloto’s (John Belushi) impassioned speech to his deflated brothers. He then asks “Who’s With Me?” But doesn’t wait for answers. This 11 second clip demonstrates how an assumptive approach to gaining agreement can backfire.
What important initiatives are you attempting to lead? Have secured agreement from all participants? Or are you destined to look behind you to discover no one is following?
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