Let’s agree. Life can be problematic. Problems and challenges pop up automatically. There’s no need to go looking for more. Problems will find us both at work and at home. And they never call in advance to make an appointment.
The more experience you have, the better you get at solving your routine problems. You become a highly skilled problem solver. Being an expert problem solver is an unquestionably valuable executive skill. That’s part of why you get paid the big bucks.
Once you’ve become comfortable exercising your problem solving muscles, you use those muscles instinctively. What happens when your problem solving muscles get really well-developed? You can become muscle-bound. How does that work with problem solving? Can it become…
Consider the axiom:
If the only tool you have is a hammer, all of your problems look like nails.
Has problem solving become one of your overdeveloped skills? Are you reaching into your management toolbox to grab your problem solving hammer the second you sense a challenge? You’re not alone.
When is it time to discover:
How about now?
How often do we hear this approach from muscle bound problem solvers?
Problem? What is it? Let’s solve this and move on!
There are potentially several problems with when your hammer (over developed skill) is problem solving. You will…
This one is a dangerous trap for all of you highly task orientated folks. Task orientated people have a natural get-it-done mindset. That mindset can blind you to the possibility that sometimes people need understanding more than they need your solution. With this blindness, you start hammering out the solution when a more effective and undertutilized tool is available.
My colleague Bill Voigt is an advanced communications expert. He shares his expertise with this solve-first dynamic in his coaching and workshops. Bill teaches us that when someone approaches you to share their challenge, you should never assume that they are asking you to provide a solution. In most cases, they’re NOT. If we were actively listening to capture the emotions expressed in their request, we would recognize their need and respond appropriately. But nearly no one does. As a result, your hammering with problem solving only makes matters worse.
According to Bill, the person with the problem primarily needs your understanding of how they feel about the situation. He proposes a simple, yet magical two-step response.
Other person: “My password isn’t working any more!”
You: “So, you can’t seem to log in. You must be really frustrated.”
Remember, it’s not about how you feel. It’s about conveying an understanding of how the other person is feeling. Stop making it about YOU and stop making it about your solution. If they want your solution, they will ask. Keep your hammer in the tool box. Another problem will come along soon enough.
When someone shares their problem or challenge, you should carefully choose the best tool for the situation: the hammer or the handkerchief. To make the right choice, you must listen actively and emphatically to capture both the facts and feelings. Then, simply share what you’ve heard: first the facts, then the feelings. You can then quietly observe how this approach can calm those emotions as have fulfilled the other person’s desperate need to feel listened to.
This Bill Voigt recommended video illustrates the problem with the impulsive need to use the claw side of the hammer and the potential value of the handkerchief approach. And it’s hilarious. If you find yourself laughing, ask yourself; Who are you really laughing at?
There’s yet another potential problem with the solve first, ask questions later approach. When we routinely do this, we deprive others of the opportunity to both think and solve for themselves. Leaders who develop this habit find themselves asking: Why Can’t My People Think for Themselves?
Tom Lemanski helps accomplished leaders unlock potential, solve complex challenges, and amplify their impact.
Effective leadership is the key to driving meaningful, lasting success in a fast-changing world.
Tom’s focus on innovative strategies and self-awareness creates transformative results for leaders striving for the next level.
Powered and secured by MailChimp
