Are You Playing The Blame Game?

Even when you know better, finger-pointing is an easy habit to adopt. And once you start, it’s difficult to stop.  After all, what gets rewarded, gets repeated.  Avoiding accountability has its short-term rewards.

Finger Fix?

As with any habit that needs to change, you first need to be aware that it’s happening. Then you need to understand how damaging it is.  Then, you have a chance to make a lasting change.  So if you can admit that you occasionally point that incriminating finger of blame, there’s hope for you.  Now we can consider why you should stop.

Scoring “Points”

If you believe that others should be accountable for their responsibilities, you must hold yourself to a platinum standard.  There’s a time-tested warning about directing the finger of blame at others.

Whenever you point your finger at someone, there are always three others pointing back in your direction.

While you may not physically point the finger, you get yourself sucked into playing The Blame Game whenever you proclaim “it’s not my fault“.

Are You A “Creator” or A “Victim”?

There is a school of thought that we can place people’s attitudes in one of two categories: creators or victims.  Whose who play The Blame Game fall into the victim category. Here are the contrasting differences in the language of these two attitudes.

1. Victims make excuses. Creators seek solutions.
2. Victims blame others. Creators accept responsibility.
3. Victims complain. Creators take action.
4. Victims repeat ineffective behavior. Creators do something new.
5. Victims “have to” do things. Creators “choose” to do things.
6. Victims are part of the problem. Creators are part of the solution.
7. Victims pretend their problems belong to others. (They say “you” when they mean “I.”). Creators own their problems. (They say “I” when referring to their own problems.)
8. Victims “try.” Creators commit and follow through.
9. Victims give up.  Creators take control of their choices and their lives.

How many of these words and mindsets are part of your routine?  How many negative points are you scoring in The Blame Game?

It may be true that “it’s not your fault.”  But before you say so or point that frail finger of victim-ship, consider the choice you’re about to make.

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Footnotes: Conceptual credit goes to:

• David Herdlinger who shared the creator-victim contrasts in a keynote to the RAC Network Conference around 2005.
• Skip Downing who published similar thoughts in On Course, Strategies for Creating Success in College and in Life