Sooner or later every leader experiences bad business behavior. And it usually happens without warning. I’m referring to diminishing, emotionally charged outbursts triggered by anger, frustration, greed, jealousy, vindictiveness or some other negative feeling.
Your success in these interactions will be determined by whether you choose to react or respond.
Effective leaders develop a level of emotional intelligence that helps them to know the difference between reaction and response.
Reacting occurs when you seek to match or counter the negative emotional message you’ve received with an emotional message of your own. One out-of-control behavior triggers another.
Responding is a more measured manner of managing mishaps. It involves answering the other person’s emotional outburst with a rational response. This is easy for me to recommend. But in the heat of a career threatening moment, keeping your cool is really challenging.
A key to effectively dealing with bad business behavior is applying Transactional Analysis. Psychiatrist Dr. Eric Berne literally wrote the book on Transaction Analysis (TA right image).
To apply Transactional Analysis, you simply need to understand that our approach to others can be placed in three different categories:
We all subconsciously move from one mode to another depending on the circumstances. Sometime we make an appropriate choice of mode. Sometimes not. When you gain a stronger awareness of the mode of other person as well as your own, you hold the key to more effective interaction. Bad business behavior occurs when people choose the wrong mode at the wrong time.
Your awareness of these modes can be the foundation for being a stronger leader and developing skills that will enable you to defuse the inevitable emotionally charged moments.
In most cases of bad business behavior, other people have fallen into child or parent mode. Great leaders have the ability to move the transaction into the less emotionally charged adult mode and thereby work toward a more rational discussion.
Remember, your ability to either react or respond is your choice. As you develop your emotional intelligence, you need make this a conscious choice. And you need to know that the choice is yours and yours alone.
Be the leader that maintains your composure during times when those around you are losing theirs. How can you make this a conscious choice?
Tom Lemanski helps accomplished leaders unlock potential, solve complex challenges, and amplify their impact.
Effective leadership is the key to driving meaningful, lasting success in a fast-changing world.
Tom’s focus on innovative strategies and self-awareness creates transformative results for leaders striving for the next level.
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