That is Habit #5 of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by the late Stephen R. Covey. We all pursue our own best interests. So when you’re communicating with another person, why not concede that the other person will always be number one in their mind. The best you can hope for is #2. If you don’t understand the other person’s interests, your talk is mere noise. Contrary to the book’s advise, most people communicate with a shoot first and ask questions later approach.
God gave us two ears and only one mouth. But we can’t still take the hint. Companies seek to hire sales people who have “the gift of gab”. Pity their poor prospects as that “gift” is also a curse. I know. I am a certified “gifted gabber” myself. My DISC/behavior profile shows that I am a “people orientated extrovert” (high “I”). I’m un-phased by public speaking or even Karaoke. Imagine my struggle with Covey’s Habit #5! To address it, I practice WAIT-ing.
It’s an acronym for a question that I continue to ask myself:
Why
Am
I
Talking?
You can see my WAIT reminder sign in the photo. There’s no telling how many times it has saved me from stepping on others’ thoughts.
More specifically: Why are you talking out of turn?
– Frank Tyger
While you work to improve your listening, consider creating your own W.A.I.T. sign.
As you work to be considered a good listener, how important is it for you to be a good questioner? How well can you seek to understand if you haven’t learned to effectively ask?
Thanks for asking? Here’s more:
The concept that became Covey’s Habit #5 was first shared in the 13th century by St. Francis of Assisi in this simple, yet powerful prayer.
Tom Lemanski helps accomplished leaders unlock potential, solve complex challenges, and amplify their impact.
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