I recently gained a new comp/pay-it-forward coaching client. It’s my Mom. She’s had trouble coping her numerous octogenarian related challenges. So much so that she literally worries herself sick. As I listened to her describe one frustration after the next, I noticed her language had become full of extreme, negative phrases like: The worst ever! Excruciating pain! Terrible service! Miserable food! While Mom traditionally takes a glass is half empty approach, she had allowed her glass to become completely empty with a leaky bottom. Her view of her problems had become more problematic than the problems themselves.
As we progress in life, the parental roles get reversed. So did I “spare the rod, spoil the parent”? While I did not resort to any kind of corporal punishment, I did assume a parental role. I helped her to discover that her habitual choice of over-the-top language was literally hazardous to her health. And that it needed to stop. I reminded her that as with any habit, it is not possible to simply stop a behavior without replacing it with a positive one. The folks at Nicorette Gum fill this need for smokers attempting to quit their habit.
My suggestion for my Mom can serve us all. When you find yourself about to use over-the-top negative descriptive language that makes mountains out of mole hills, instead use a form of the word inconvenient. It serves to help us reverse the mountains into mole hills thought process.
What’s your near-tragic, trouble of the month? If you want to keep it from getting the best of you, view and describe it for what it really can be. It’s just another inconvenience. This simple substitution can do wonders for your coping skills. Make it a habit!
My Mom passed away in January 2013. I am comforted to know that she was able to able to use this more positive mindset to help ease her through her challenges. You still can.
Tom Lemanski helps accomplished leaders unlock potential, solve complex challenges, and amplify their impact.
Effective leadership is the key to driving meaningful, lasting success in a fast-changing world.
Tom’s focus on innovative strategies and self-awareness creates transformative results for leaders striving for the next level.
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