I experience a variety of evaluation approaches from prospective coaching clients. These range from Request for Proposals (RFPs) to Direct Phone Calls. From most, this is either a first time or infrequent purchase. People struggle with their approach to finding a fit.
The RFP Approach
Just Say NOWhen I receive RFPs for coaching services, I formally decline. It’s the fail fast approach. I would consider responding to decision makers who are willing to meet in-person to discuss their individual needs. But that has never happened. People using supply chain management principles to developing individual leadership are not inclined to have personal conversations. At least not while they are thinning out the herd of vendors. The most value that I can offer these folks is opting-out and wishing them well. If they don’t understand this relationship, why waste time pursuing one?If you offer professional services, I strongly recommend that you consider this fail fast approach to RFPs. Most aren’t “real” opportunities. Many are veiled attempts to get free consulting with no intention to buy.Does it really make sense to buy a personalized professional service the same way you buy copy paper?
An Executive Coaching engagement is NOT a transaction. It is a relationship.
Matchmaking Principals: Dating vs. Coaching
Since you’re seeking a relationship, shouldn’t you use use the same criteria as dating? Not exactly. It’s obviously a different kind of relationship. As with on-line dating services, you need to test your relationship criteria before moving forward through the steps in a romantic relationship.Occasionally leaders seeking coaching might be open to getting “fixed up” by someone who knows both parties well enough to make a referral. Referrals from people who lack of knowledge of the people, situation and developmental needs call for more due diligence.In any case, you should be clear about the criteria you’ll use to make your decision. And remember: potential romance should be a deal breaker for a coaching relationship.
Common Misconception
In the coach selection process, the most common misguided belief is the pursuit of comfort. As with a mate, people want feel comfortablewith their prospective coach. This a potential trap and misguided criterion. Why? One important role of an executive coach is personal change agent. Meaningful, sustainable change involves stepping outside your comfort zone. An effective Executive Coaching relationship is NOT a form ofrent-a-friend. While rapport and trust are critical, your coach must have the ability to make you feel uncomfortable enough to commit to positive changes in your attitudes, habits and behavior. And to sustain these changes.
If Not “Comfort”, What’s Important?
I mentioned the importance of trust and rapport. For these to develop, there must be a connection. Professional connection derives from professional skills and experience for empathy along with dynamic questioning and listening skills. In your due diligence, work to determine these abilities in your prospective coach. You’re much more likely to get the meaningful positive change you seek and deserve.
Considering “Connection”
While the objectives differ, connection is an intangible attribute that serves both romantic relationships and professional coaching relationships. It is NOT something you can requisition with a RFP.
Due Diligence Guide
For further reference, read my Executive Coach Selection Guide. It includes lists of questions to ask yourself and questions for your prospective coach.
Since you’re seeking a relationship, shouldn’t you use use the same criteria as dating? Not exactly. It’s obviously a different kind of relationship. As with on-line dating services, you need to test your relationship criteria before moving forward through the steps in a romantic relationship.Occasionally leaders seeking coaching might be open to getting “fixed up” by someone who knows both parties well enough to make a referral. Referrals from people who lack of knowledge of the people, situation and developmental needs call for more due diligence.In any case, you should be clear about the criteria you’ll use to make your decision. And remember: potential romance should be a deal breaker for a coaching relationship.
