There’s an occupational hazard In my profession; attempting to coach the un-coachable. I work to avoid the situation. I hate seeing time and money wasted. But how do you predict it?
We typically start coaching with a simple Key Assumption:
Neither party wants to believe this assumption is false. Especially the person being coached.
“Of course, I’m coachable!”
But wait! What does that really mean? To explore a person’s coachability, let’s start by asking..
Here are some qualifying questions to learn more:
Outside intervention is not a deal breaker. It is a reason to look closer look at the mindset of the coaching candidate. If it’s not the coaching candidate’s idea or they can’t embrace the idea, it is a yellow warning flag for coachability.
How is it that some really smart people fail to achieve at high levels? We’ve seen people with an abundance of knowledge, intellect and skills. Yet they flounder. Why does that happen? Can you be too smart for your own good? Perhaps the answer lies in asking…
Most everyone wants to believe they are coachable. For the un-coachable, one misconception is: “I really like learning new things, therefore I must be coachable“. Is that assumption always true? Let’s take a closer look at the definitions.
The Execution Box (a.k.a. KASH Box) illustrates the difference between simply knowing and actually doing: teachability vs. coachability.
Coachable people are able to both learn AND execute (do). Those who are teachable but not coachable can understand but lack the desire and discipline to do what’s needed.
Is the person being coached seeking knowledge for the sake of knowledge? Or knowledge for the sake of meaningful positive change? Only the latter is truly coachable.
One of the strongest human needs is the need to be right. If you don’t buy this, try spending your day doing what a lot of bad bosses do: telling other people that they’re wrong. Observe what happens to their commitment, engagement and overall motivation.
In order to be coachable, you need to discover and accept that some of your existing habits and beliefs that have served you in the past will no longer work moving forward. You must admit that you’re wrong before you can develop new, more product habits and mindsets. You need to let go of that powerful need to be right.
A skilled coach serves as a catalyst by helping you discover what’s really important to you and which of your past habits need to change. For un-coachable people, the need to be right is a limiting belief too challenging for the ego to overcome.
Is the a permanent condition? Hopefully not. There can be hope in this explanation of change.
Change will only occur when the pain, discomfort or inconvenience of staying the same exceeds that of making the change.
When it comes to recognizing coachable people, I’ve learned to apply the ancient proverb:
When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
The timing needs to be right. Can coaching accelerate this timing? It depends. A skilled coach can serve to help you clarify your motives for taking action. Your coachability depends on developing enough motivation to go beyond simply knowing and actually do,
Tom Lemanski helps accomplished leaders unlock potential, solve complex challenges, and amplify their impact.
Effective leadership is the key to driving meaningful, lasting success in a fast-changing world.
Tom’s focus on innovative strategies and self-awareness creates transformative results for leaders striving for the next level.
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